Choosing Your Own Path

My name is Jennifer Holstein and 10 years ago I was sitting right where you were. Not in the sense that I was once your age, and facing the same pressures that you were, but I was literally in these same seats, at this very school.

I spent my junior year of high school here at the Beijing 80 international student section. I was in the 语言班 language classes as part of an international exchange program between the United States and China. If you have told me that 10 years later I would be standing here talking to you. Honestly, I would have believed you.

I always believed that I could do anything, as long as I set my mind to it the possibilities were endless. What have I accomplished in the 10 years since I have been here?

- I spent a year at Peking University (Beida) as an exchange student

- I’ve hosted parties with over 2000 people attending

- I discovered a career as an actress

- I biked 2500 kilometers on my own

- I am a 2 time chili pepper eating contest winner

- I have started several charity projects to change the world

- And now I am a 2 time TEDx speaker

I once sat where you are and I’m here to tell you that 10 years from now you can be standing where I am. Today I will tell you how to live your life FREE to expectations of others. Whether it be society or your family, you can create your own happiness and live with positivity and possibility.

It is easy to say all of these things, that anything is possible. But with everything in life there is a strategy.

 

Think less, not More.

- People tend to think that you can think your way out of a problem, but overthinking turns into just more problems

Have you ever been rejected and spent days thinking about why you didn’t get an opportunity or what makes someone else better than you

Sometimes there is no reason, sometimes there is, but it doesn’t matter. The more you hold onto what happened the less you’ll be able to welcome in the future.

The future is in you reach but you have to let the past go

How many times have you talked yourself out of a choice, just because you thought about it too much?

Do you know how long it takes it takes you to change your mind about something? 5 seconds. It takes 5 seconds to take back a decision.

Two years ago, I was dealing with a life crisis. I felt like my job wasn’t right, I wasn’t doing what I wanted with my life, I felt hopeless. I needed to break FREE

In under 5 seconds I choose to make a choice that would change my whole life. I decided to go part time at my job and pack up all my stuff into two little bags and ride a bicycle around China for 3 months. I didn’t care that no one else wanted to go, I wanted to go. So I choose to do what I want. After having an idea at 2 am the next day I started buying all that I need and within 2 weeks I was on the road.

I had not even biked for more than 2 hours before having done this. I didn’t even know how to fix a tire. But I went anyway.

Everything in life can go wrong, but you will never know if you cant or cant do something if you never even try.

Stop thinking about things so much, you only have so much time on this planet and you really are only young once. So take a chance on yourself!

This brings me to my next point. I am sure you are thinking, but it takes money to be able to travel and live. Well, yes! It does take some money, but not that much.

 

Avoid thinking you don’t deserve something

How many times have you avoiding doing something you wanted because you thought you didn’t deserve it? Thinking there is no way you can do it. Well just apply for it anyway. I wanted to be a part of the global shapers an impressive group under the world economic forum. Full of CEOs, company managers, diplomats and more really amazing people. I thought who am I to be a part of this group? But, I tried to break FREE of my negative thoughts and apply anyways. Now I am one of the most valuable members with my own project and I contribute in so many ways to building the global shapers community. Not because I am a CEO, not because I work at a fancy company with a fancy title, but because I try, when something is needed I go for it. Not thinking ever that there is something I cant do. I live within possibility, always. In fact just one week ago I started my own company here in China. What I will do with it, I don’t even know yet, but I stopped the negative pattern in my head that I wouldn’t ever own my own business but now I do.

Be humble, but still state your worth.

A huge part of most cultures, especially here in China is to be humble. Never telling anyone what you have accomplished and letting it speak for itself. But, in my experience, if you don’t tell someone something then they wont know! It’s good to be humble. But, in my experience it won’t lead you to more opportunities. If you’re and amazing photographer, people wont know unless you show them, or tell then. If you are an amazing event planner, how will people know? There are so many times that people have contacted me and given me an opportunity just because I mentioned it to them that it was one of my skills. The life you want doesn’t just happen, sometimes you have to speak it into existence.

The next part of my method to living your best life it learning how to make connections. It as simple as asking a question. I can start a conversation with almost anyone by asking a simple question. I can not tell you how many friends I have made just by asking, “Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?” this opens up the door to say, “wow thanks I’ve never been here before, have you? Oh wow, what brings you here?” Once you start a conversation, it can lead to amazing places. Once you feel like you can, ask them to keep in contact, and then follow up. Don’t forget to talk about yourself a little bit, I’ve had so many opportunities given to me from strangers that I once talked to about myself.

 

My final point and one I think is the most important. You need to break free of what other people think about what you are doing.

The only opinion that truly matters about how you live your life is your own. Maybe you want to become an actress, but you parents want you to be a doctor. Maybe you want to travel the world, but you parents want you to go right university, or start a prestigious internship or get a job as an engineer. True happiness sometimes comes at the cost of living your life differently than how other people think that you should. And you also much know that even when you are happy with the things you have done or the choices you have made, people will never react in the way you want them, and they might not care at to. How many times have you done something that you were really proud of, and you told someone expecting them to be so proud of you too, and they just don’t react like you think they would. Then you end up getting really upset. This happens with everyone, no matter your age, it could be you parents, you teacher, your boyfriend or girlfriend or your friends. You can’t rely of the reactions of others to make you happy, only you are responsible for your own happiness. The happiness you get from others is just temporary, lasting, and true happiness comes from within.

So, if you want to live within positivity and possibility then:

- DON’T OVETHINK

- DON’T BE TIED TO MONEY

- KNOW YOUR WORTH

- CREATE CONENCTIONS

- EXPECT GREAT THINGS

- LOVE WHO YOU ARE

- STAY POSITIVE